It Starts With YOU!

On Monday, during our 5 week Fitness Bootcamp training, one of the participants had caught my attention. I wasn't teaching the class... my wife was. I was standing on the side holding our 10 month old daughter. I couldn't believe this girl. She was rotating through every station- mountain climbers, jump switch lunges, push ups, etc., and doing it 100%. Maybe you don't understand... some of these stations are very physically challenging and very enduring. While everyone was sweating and breathing hard, she was smokin' through the exercises. Perhaps I am amazed because it was my 3 year old daughter.

Granted, her petite, little, 30 pound frame (soaking wet) doesn't require much work to move around. There is a greater lesson here. About 90% of the things Rachel and I have said or done has been mimicked by our kids- Isaac and Reese, and even Zoey. Later that day, I pondered... "Are we good role models for Isaac, Reese, and Zoey? Are we setting the best example we can set?" I decided a long time ago, parenting is difficult, when it's done right. I also decided that it's easier than we all think, at the same exact time.

Let me explain when parenting is difficult. It's difficult when you teach your kids that smoking is bad, but you still smoke yourself. It's difficult when you teach your kids to not use foul language, but you continue to use foul language. It's difficult when you teach them not to fight with their siblings, when you are fighting with your spouse. It's difficult when you don't set and achieve goals, but you want your child to be successful at reaching their goals. It's difficult when you want your child to be healthy and active, but you aren't healthy and active yourself.

Get the picture? Much of what we want our children to learn can be taught simply by living the life we want our children to have. That is the simple part. Now, here is the caveat... if you are going to be a teacher, it's good that you show up to class. We have to be present to teach these life lessons. My wife and I have realized something over the past 2 weeks. We have become much closer as a family, and have had many great discussions about these very lessons. How? It's simple... dropped down to having only 1 car! Before you say, "Hold on a minute! We're not going down to one car, that's impossible!"

Let me explain. We got rid of our studio-apartment-on-wheels (H2 Hummer), and I bought a 1969 Ford Bronco to restore. Well, being that Rachel and I work in the same place and we're only 7 minutes from the Taekwondo school, we decided that 1 car will work, temporarily, for a week. 8 weeks later... and still driving 1 car, I'm still working on the Bronco. We decided that we are having a ball driving everyday as a family to and from the Taekwondo school. I decided that I would just keep the Bronco in the garage and continue to make greater headway in restoring it, instead of restoring and driving it simultaneously- which would slow the progress down immensely. I realize everyone is not in this same position, but that's not the point. Continue reading.

Several years ago, a parent in our program- Julie Oliver, who by the way, is still with us, told me something I will never forget. We were having a discussion about getting the kids to all of their activities. I told her, why don't you just hire a driver, then have just quality time elsewhere instead of just quantity time in the car. She said, "I actually cherish that time in the car, especially right after school, and from sports when the kids are the most chatty." She continued, and I won't forget this, "Quantity time = Quality time in my book."

Lesson #1
Overspend on time with your kids. I have a personal training client who is arguably the busiest person I know. He travels around the world frequently. He is the leader of a publicy traded company on the NASDAQ. When his time is limited, he does private Taekwondo lessons with his kids.

Other busy leaders I know do the following:
1. They volunteer on the playground.
2. They volunteer in the classroom.
3. They coach or assists with their child's sport team.
4. They join Taekwondo with their kids.
5. They take their kids to school or pick them up.
6. They teach them a hobby or a recreational sport on the weekends.

Lesson #2
The lessons start from you. Don't have a "Do what I say, not as I do" attitude. In our Taekwondo program, I have actually had parents cry to me, and thanking me for the guidance we have not only given their child, but have given them. It never occurred to them that things like Respect, Confidence, Self Esteem, and Goal Setting begins with them.

Over the years, I've actually grown to really love the UBC (Ultimate Body Challenge), because I've seen how it affects everyone's lives. Again, I've had participants become very emotional and thankful for the healthy lifestyle they have learned and adopted. More importantly, they are thankful that they now have the tools to pass on the same healthy lifestyle to their kids. More Info on The UBC.

It's amazing how many of us want to be healthy, and want to eat right, but we just don't know how to go about it. We really live in a culture that is unlike the rest of the world. Only in a America, is there a greater chance of dieing from obesity and heart disease, than from starvation.

My goal is to do everything I can to live long enough to enjoy Christmas with great grandchildren. Although, I am only 34 now, I intend to continue living a healthy lifestyle so that me and my family will be free from disease and happy for as long as possible.

Leading By Example

How to Teach Confidence

Allow your child to...
1. See you set goals.
2. See you struggle.
3. See you succeed.
4. Teach your child to follow 1,2 and 3.

How to Improve Your Child's Self Esteem

1. News Flash... Realize it has very little to do with your child.
2. Never use negative words that make a child feel defeated.
3. Allow them to take age appropriate risks. I find most parents would not allow a 3 year old to carry a carton of eggs because, "you might drop them." $1.99 is an age appropriate risk in my book. When you show a child that you believe in their ability, they will believe in themselves.
4. Ask your child about their opinion on something.
5. Take your child up on a recommendation. If their recommendation wasn't the best, make light of the situation and find something positive about it.

How to Teach Your Child to Not Give Up

1. Look in the mirror and ask yourself what project you started and never finished. Every project starts with enthusiasm. In the beginning you're excited, the spouse is excited, and the kids are excited. What happens down the road when nothing is ever brought to completion. NOTHING! A project should have a Beginning, a Journey, and a Destination. All three should be EXCITING, in their own way. Don't teach your child just the Beginning phase.
2. The Journey is the most difficult stage- encourage your child by pointing out small milestones and reminding them of the Destination.
3. Strive to achieve the Destination as much as possible.

How to Teach Your Child To Be Healthy and Active

1. What do your children see you doing for 1/3 of your life- eating, watching tv- sorry, you may call it "relaxing." We have 24 hours in a day- 8 hours for sleep, 8 hours for work, 8 hours for anything else. If you're like most, you're sedentary at work for 8 hours. Unless you sleep jog, you're sedentary for 8 hours in bed. Okay, what is going on for that other 1/3 of your day, or better yet, the other 1/3 of your life?
2. That's great that you go to the gym, but is it teaching your kids anything about the importance of exercise? Take them with you once a week.
3. Lose the cable TV! Between kids movies from the Library's weekly Bookmobile trip and Netflicks, we watch only what we sign up for. And, by the way, save like $90 a month.
4. Teach your child the components of food- Carbohydrates, Protein, and Fat, and what each of their purposes are. Don't know the purposes? Learn! Sign up for the UBC (Ultimate Body Challenge), and get the best education on exercise and eating to live a strong healthy lifestyle. Before long, your child will be asking you, "is this a carbohydrate or a protein?" What they really want to know is if they are feeding their organs or their muscles.
5. Join an activity where you move and sweat together. Hmmm... how about Taekwondo as a Family (big smile).

Hopefully, you've gathered that all the things I've mentioned above start from YOU. In fact, some start with you, and end with you. As for my 3 year daughter, don't expect to see her on the sidelines anytime soon, at least not as long as mom is setting the example.

Respectfully,

Duncan Richardson
Chief Master Instructor
The Academy of World Taekwondo
Martial Art Lessons in Boise & Eagle