The Power of Words

Tonight, one of our junior students who is preparing for Black Belt was in class. His Black Belt test is in February and he does not have one of his physical requirements satisfied. This requirement is to hold on the pull up bar for 45 seconds. For a while, he has been stuck at 24 seconds while training on his own. In fact, when he came in tonight, he held for exactly 24 seconds when I watched him.


This young gentleman and I had a quick conversation. He then held for 31 seconds. We spoke just a little bit more, and he held for 38 seconds. Now he is only 7 seconds away from achieving this goal. What changed?


The conversation we had was simple. I taught him to believe. The words were simple, but the change was profound. If words can change someone's determination for success in less than a minute, how would 18 years of this sort of dialogue impact a child.


My point is, words are the most powerful things we own. You can use them to build yourself up or tear yourself down. You can use them the same way on a child, too. Think about the things you say to yourself and decide if they are really productive. Now think about how you are programing your child. Are you programing your child to be insecure or secure, shy or outgoing, etc?


Really, this can be a chapter in a book, but here are some basic things to think about when talking to your children. Always speak to your child in a manner that builds confidence. Use encouraging words and always let them know they can accomplish anything they want. Would you like that to be even more profound? Then get out there and show them you practice what you preach. Go out there and accomplish things and let your kids see your enthusiasm, your drive, and your confidence!


In addition to that, don't deny kids the opportunity to succeed just because they might fail. If they fail, they learn. I've told my competitors for years, "When you win, you get a medal. When you lose, you learn."


Take a look at these common phrases from parents that absolutely drive me nuts:

• She doesn't talk much... she's shy.
• Don't carry that... you'll drop it.
• Don't climb up there... you'll fall.
• He's uncoordinated...
• She's the athlete and he's the bookworm. (translation in their minds: she's dumb and he's smart)

Shad Helmstetter, author of What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, says a child hears the word "No" and "Can't" 16,000 times. I had a friend over one day and he said, "You're going to let your daughter (2 years old) carry the carton of eggs?" My response was simple, "There's no way I'm going lead her into believing she can't. Besides, those eggs were on sale for 99 cents with my Albertson's preferred card:)."

Duncan Richardson
Chief Master Instructor
The Academy of World Taekwondo
Ph: 208.381.0587
http://www.FreeKarateLesson.com