For the past few years I've been doing a lot of pondering on a particular question. In my opinion, it's the most important question parents need to be concerned with. How do we teach our kids to make good decisions?
We can provide positive activities for our children, we can raise them in a healthy environment, monitor who their friends are, and ensure they're receiving a good education, but there are factors that will be thrusted upon them whether we like it or not. Every single day, somewhere a teenager is given the opportunity to make a decision on whether or not they're going to try smoking, drinking, sex, etc. Kids will also attend basketball games and football games, then pile into cars and head over to a friend of a friend of a friend who's parents are out of town. The bottom line is this- no matter how we raise our children, we will never be able to protect them from the tough decisions they'll have to make. At the same time, nor do we want to protect them, as hard as it may seem. It's these lessons that will make our kids stronger, so long as we give them the tools to succeed.
I believe we must arm our kids with the ability to make good decisions and with the confidence to follow through with those decisions. I'd like to do this blog a little differently. I'd like to hear your comments on methods you feel we could use as parents to arm our kids with the ability to make good decisions. Simply click on the comments button below this post. You can either put your name or post a comment anonymously.
I can't wait to hear from you!
Duncan Richardson
Chief Master Instructor
The Academy of World Taekwondo
Ph: 208.381.0587
http://www.FreeKarateLesson.com
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3 comments:
I hope if my daughter feels she can talk to me about ANYTHING, then for those difficult decisions, she will talk to me. Anytime she says something, I LISTEN to her, letting her know she has my undivided attention. Right now, she's only 5 years old. But, if I start early, I hope it pays off in the long run.
We have four children and after much trial and error we have found that giving them personal choices now, develops the ability to problem solve. For example, we only eat sweets on the weekend, usually in the form of homemade cookies etc. Inevitably someone will offer them some other treat during the week or early in the day on the weekends and we offer them the choice of accepting the treat now and forgoing our family dessert later. Sometimes their desire is great and they take the lollipop from the bank and are poignantly reminded on Friday or Saturday evening that they will not be enjoying the Rootbeer floats. After only a few times of this happening, they actually consider what they really want and choose accordingly, then accept the responsibility of their choice. We have had comments about this philosophy seeming harsh, but it isn't so much about the sugar as it is about making healthy choices that they will be personally responsible for later. We have seen it pay off in so many areas like saving money for a true goal instead of spending carelessly, delayed gratification in food choices, movies and clothing wants. Our kids are learning to take care when deciding what they really want and need. The difficult part is, that we as parents have to emulate the characteristics we desire from them. It has to be our consistency, self-control and discipline that teaches them through our actions not just words. As soon as we crack or stumble they are soon to follow, fore they are truly mirrors.
I think accountability also influences the kind of decisions our kids make. If we allow them to suffer the consequence for a bad choice (as well as reap the reward for a good one), we are teaching them that they are directly responsible for their actions.
OUR actions influence kids the most, as we already know. So, what that means for parents is that we must practice what we preach. Tell him/her 50 times, "put your dirty clothes in the hamper please!" but they don't do it. Why? Have a look at where your dirty socks are.........
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